Sleep

I actually slept last night. I don't know why last night was any different from any other sleepless night. My neck was still having spasms and was hurting greatly like it is now, but I was so exhausted that I guess my mind shut down my body for the night. Sleep is an elusive creature to me, comes and goes, weaving in and out of my nights like a mosquito dancing in and out of a hole in the screen until it is finally squashed by the closing of the window. I watch my dogs and how easily and deep they sleep - lay down and, BOOM, they are sleeping. Have you ever wondered if dogs dream? My daughters basset hound, Lulu, who barely has a brain (and I wonder about that at times) for instance, do you think she dreams about lakes, rivers and rabbits? Even though she has never seen any of those things? Or maybe she dreams of bones, cans of food, Kong's, and billiard balls - and her nightmares could consist of my aunts 2 big dogs coming at her. At night I watch my children sleep too. They look so angelic - to bad that doesn't transcend the light of day. My oldest daughter, who, like me, is bipolar, takes medication to get to sleep - but her sleep is not a restless synthetic sleep, it's a sleep that needs unlocking - like a door needs a key. Once she is asleep though, she doesn't move around much, every once in a while her lips will part as if she is speaking to someone or something. My youngest daughter who is 6 is still occasionally has night time accidents still has baby lips. If you ever watch a baby sleep their lips partted and pursed, like inverted angels wings. We don't know what causes the accidents, she says she has not had any bad dreams but that makes me question something too. Why are dreams elusive? Why do some dreams about frozen waffles, frogs and giant ice cream cones stick out in our minds so we can recall them, and the ones that really matter; the ones where a loved one crosses heavens threshold to visit us, and remind us we are loved; or the ones that fortell of some wonderful fortune in the future. Does our mind think we can't handle such things? I want to see my mom again and I want to remember it, but alas, I finally find sleep to be chased through Oz by a giant tube of toothpaste.